Over the past year, I was able to leverage networking to transition from a career in business to doing user experience design at a startup and now at a large public company. This is strange for me to say because I hated networking with a passion, that was until I figured out that effective networking, the kind that fosters sustainable relationships and high-quality opportunities, starts with the right mental posture. The many books, articles, blogs, and videos on the topic don't say much about what I’ve verified through my countless informational interviews, Meetup events, industry conferences and happy hours.
I wanted to share what I learned. I hope it helps:
“I want a job” is Not Good Enough
The most compelling stories are the ones with a clear why. Understanding why you want the job equips you to share a unique story about yourself that gives the listener, in a single dose, a good grasp of who you are, what motivates you, and that you understand the job/company. Moreover, a good why makes a lasting impression and truly separates you from everyone else who just wants a job.
Over the years, I’ve done many informational interviews with job seekers where the discussion was too much about salary, upward mobility, and work-life balance. For the most part, these are career agnostic questions that indicate that you just want a job and it does not demonstrate that you’re interested in the specific role. These questions should be secondary to questions that help you learn about the business, its projects/services, and its processes.
Always be Curious
I've learned that the most meaningful endeavors stem from curiosity. Curiosity fosters good questions and in turn good discussions. Naturally, good discussions help build stronger relationships, broaden your perspective, and clarify your why.
I’ve noticed that job seekers (including myself at times) often approach networking with a mental checklist of dos and don’ts, eager to get through the checklist with the expectation that the conversation will end with the swapping of business cards, a promise of an interview, or at the very least a referral. This mentality is extremely distracting because you’re never listening but rather just waiting to ask a question. This makes it hard for people to connect with you, it doesn’t make people feel valued and the conversation is lukewarm at best.
Always stay curious and you’ll have more quality conversations. And quality conversations attract opportunities. I promise.
Always Be Specific
Respect people’s time by being specific with what you’re looking for. People generally want to help you but not if it feels like a waste of time. Your request has to be worth the hassle of setting aside precious non-work time to chat with you, especially if they don’t know you. I’ve found that job seekers too often make general requests to “pick their brain” about the job. Anyone can do that. Make the person feel special by putting in the work to learn about them and spelling out why 30 mins with him/her will be valuable to you. If you can’t draft a compelling and specific introduction, leave the person alone and move on to the next person. I promise you’ll get more responses this way.
Don’t Be Fake
People are smart, especially the ones you’re making the effort to reach out to. Unless you’re some master con artist, these people can smell "fake" from a mile away. They can sense if you’re just going through the motions to get a job; they can tell if you’re just regurgitating sound bites from a podcast; and they can absolutely tell if you are naively romanticizing the idea of the job.
Do Your Best to Give Abundantly and Mean It
This is the most important because networking is about people, about developing relationships and building a community. As a baseline, understanding the why, being curious, being specific and not being fake shows the person you’re talking to that you respect and value them. But I don’t think it stops there. Often times, you would have learned something about the person that sheds light on some other ways you can give. Giving doesn’t just have to be monetary. It can be as simple as being engaged with their social media posts, offering to make an introduction, or even just making yourself available to help another time. I was surprised at how generous people were with their time, content to have just helped someone out. Don’t take them for granted.
Pay it Forward
Chances are that people will have helped you get to where you want to be in your career so pass on the favor to others. Respond to the requests, make yourself available and give people chances. I think you'll be surprised at how joyful and content you are to have helped someone.